Funny Food For Thought

November 27, 2009 by admin  
Filed under Features, Food for Thought, Fun, Main Content, Misc. Mirth


Image Credit: Anne Taintor

And now a word from a Dreadful Domesticated Damsel in Distress and Kooky Kitchen Klutz, Hermione Catastrophe (who thankfully has never been asked to contribute a recipe to the James Bay Beacon Newspaper, but who if asked, would respond as follows)

Dear Friends of Food,

I sincerely appreciate your invitation to join your recipe exchange list. 

Regretably living alone does not inspire an undomesticated feline like me to cook, let alone consume too much of what I am obliged to make in order to sustain myself on planet earth.
 
If truth be told, I find myself considering options like pitted prunes and a jolt of java for breakfast. They represent an affordable, convenient, and easy-to-open source of food — a healthy snack that keeps one regular and a hot beverage to wash them down.
 
As for lunch – I try to go out for a bit of a perambulation around my part of the hood, and often check out modestly priced places that offer a bowl of soup and/or a sandwich. Though I do consider myself a slightly adventurous person, I try to avoid exotic dishes whenever possible be it pickled pigs toes, chocolate covered ants, or grilled road kill from the badlands of Alberta. 
 
And for dinner — well, sometimes it involves waiting for an invitation to a free wine tasting plus some appies all of which can be found my neighborhood. More often than not, I adore indulging in a "bran new me" — whether it’s a big bowl of flakes or satisfying hot bowl of oatmeal porridge with a light topping of whipping cream, (the one that supposed to give your cholesterol a hell of a ride).
 
So, you can see that my tastes in food are rather simple, while my talent for cooking almost non-existent. I attribute this to the fact that during puberty, I failed several important home ec[onomics] courses — cooking (though I did pass the porridge test), and sewing (on a treddle machine, but now since I can’t see well enough to thread a needle, I use carpet tape with glue on both sides to hem my clothes…the few that still fit me of course, although they say "sack dresses" are coming back in style…thank God).
 
Again, thank you for your thoughtful invitation to join what I am sure promises to be a great opportunity to share some culinary delights. Which reminds me, I must have a word with the Fuck-up Fairy or the Goddess of Glitch to request that perhaps they consider adding a gourmet cooking gene to my DNA when I’m reincarnated…what do you mean you don’t think cats have nine lives?
 
Best regards from one who simply hates to cook unless my fate depends on it,
 
 
 
The catastrophic culinary clunker
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Food, Fun & Freudian Sips!

Image Credit: Chud Tsankov Illustrations on flickr.com

This month in the "Food for Thought" column, we’ve invited Larry Arnold, (Product Consultant at Spinnaker’s Wine & Beer Merchants and Sips Artisan Bistro  at 425 Simcoe Street in James Bay Square) to say a few words about what’s in their larder besides those lovely little libations that complement our loafing about lifestyle that characterizes the neighborhood.

Sips Artisan Bistro is featuring some fine food, fun and Freudian Sips courtesy of Therapy Vineyards from B.C.’s Naramata Bench. So if you’re pressed for time and can’t enjoy a "grape escape", then drop by for a tasting, or pick up a bottle of your favorite "Therapy" and a tapas to go!

Freudian Sip 2008/Salt Spring Island Chevre, Spinnakers Apple Smoked Trout & Strawberry Compote

This pairing is all about acidity! The goat cheese has it, so does the strawberry compote. With a crunch of mouthwatering acidity and heady citrust-mango flavours, the wine hangs in there perfectly, gaining weight and intensity with every sip. As the acid softens, the wine brings out the lovely smoky flavours of the trout and the sweetness of the srawberry. Delicious!

 

Therapy Vineyards Chardonnay 2008/Smokehouse Cheddar, Verjus Cured Salmon, Pear Butter

Yow, this dish is intense, but so is the wine! Smoke, acidity and sweet fruit, all in perfect balance requires more of the same and the crisp, juicy Okanagan chard more than meets the challenge. Peaches and cream with lovely toasty nuances, plenty of weight and a finish that wraps itself around your palate and just keeps going!

Therapy Vineyards Gewurztraminer 2008/Caraway Cheese, Smoked Sooke Oyster & Apple Chutney

This pairing is all or nothig! the ingredients in the dish are full flavoured, sweet and spicy. The perfect complement to a wine not known for its coquettish nature! Very floral with a slightly oily texture, a heady potpourri of tropical fruit and exotic spice flavours and a long, long soft finish!

Therapy Vineyards Pinot Noir 2007/Tipsy Jill, proscuitto Salami, Strawberry Compote

Good pinot is hard to find But after several thousand samples we think we have found one here! The dish is richly flavoured with a salty, slightly sweet and tart structure that begs another bite. The wine is all about perfectly rip fruit with cherry and spice flavours, a soft wilky texture and enough acidity to stand up to the compote and cut through the richness of the cheese. Superb!
 

Freud’s Ego 2007/Hot Jill Cheese, Hot Cacciatore Salami, Caramelized Onions

This dish is not for the timid or those with an aversion to heat and spice. It is a full-flavoured take no prisoners assault on your palate that is very, very hot, but absolutely delicious! On the other hand, this richly textured Boreau blend is lush and powerful with layers of sweet fruit and spice flavours, plenty of body and a soft blush of fine grained tannins.

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Food For Thought on Thanksgiving

Image Credit: happythanksgiving at flickr.com

May your stuffing be tasty

May your turkey be plump,

May your potatoes and gravy

Have nary a lump.

May your yams be delicious

And your pies take the prize,

And may your Thanksgiving dinner

Stay off your blessed thighs!

 

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Food For Thought

September 12, 2009 by admin  
Filed under Features, Food for Thought, Main Content

Image Credit: bcanada92 at flickr.com

It is said that the Westcoast is home to far too many flakes, nuts and fruitcakes. If that is so, then why not sample our rather find "food for thought" served on a silver platter.

Frankly, what would a blog be without sharing one’s slice of life, or more to the point "spilling all the beans" about life in this neck of the woods?

So, whether you’re a "Big Cheese", a "Couch Potato" or "have a finger in the pie", the food you’ll find in this column may range from "half-baked ideas", to "things that make one’s mouth water".

For those with more refined tastebuds, finding new techniques to "polish one’s apple", tips on how to earn those coveted "brownie points" or how to "eat one’s cake and have it too" — all of which may be more pleasing to the palate and infinitely more rewarding to type-A personalities (who work for the government) and those born with silver spoons in their mouths (who may reside in the neighborhood for two months or less a year).

Those with a passion for life-long learning may appreciate different perspectives on the delicate issue of how to "eat crow, humble pie or words" with grace and aplomb or how to remove "egg on one’s face" without "upsetting the applecart" and "crying in one’s beer" or "crying over spilt milk" – a fate worse than death to most people.

On the other hand, those who are "nuttier than a fruitcake", would be best advised to take everything in this column with a grain of salt.

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