Why is everyone so happy?

Because it’s festive, flirtatious and frolicking February of course — ahem …the shortest month of the year. Time to sample some frisky fortune cookies for a change.

So, without further adieu, here’s what you can do to keep yourself tickled pink for the entire month of February:

February 1: International Daydreaming Day (time to see who can gaze vacantly into space the longest while listening to a long-winded lecture or munching on molecules)

February 2: Hug a Hog Day (time to press the flesh with grunt and groan types who seem to spend most of their time in the barnyard of life chasing their own shadows)

February 3: Aquarius Heritage Day (beware of water carrying geniuses eating unusual food and are a tad independent, mentally odd, tactless, or eccentric for their own good)

February 4: National ‘Pass the Buck Day’ (a wonderful way to honor those who are forever delegating dirty jobs to other poor souls lower down the food chain of life)

February 5: Whoop-De-Doo Day (are you ready to build sandcastles in the air, draw outside the lines, and share your favorite wind-up toys with other grown-up kids at work?)

February 6: Ding Dong Appreciation Day (when was the last time you invited a bible-thumper or political candidate into your home to discuss the future of gaskets or grommets?)

February 7: National Tongue-Twister Day (Time to take the marbles out of your mouth and repeat after me, "Peter Piper picked a pack of pickled peppers…")

February 8: Elephant in the Living Room Appreciation Day (in honor of all sorts of big bogies or couch critters we ignore, and we’d just as soon others did too please!)

February 9: Cock-O’-The Walk Day (your frisky fortune cookie says it’s time to pay tribute to all the red roosters you know who are brave, motivated, proud, romantic, and a tad blunt …if truth be told )

February 10: Show & Tell Day (okay it’s about time to haul out your really neat travel slide show of your trip to Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan with spell-binding commentary!)

February 11: The-Right-Way-to-Do-It Day (there’s only one way to install a roll of toilet paper roll so that falls correctly!)

February 12: First-in-Line Day (If your surname name doesn’t begin with "X", "Y" or "Z", step to the back of the line!!)

February 13: Free Lunch Day (time to collect all those outstanding IOUs – wow are you ever lucky!)

February 14: Slings & Arrows of Outrageous Fortune Day (how else do you expect to bewitch a beautiful beast or bag a box of chocolates?)

February 15: Fly Your Own Flag Day (now where did I put that "Jolly Roger"?)

February 16: Gonad Games Day (a.k.a. Potentate Pissing Contests)

February 17: Red Devil Awareness Day (time to sprout horns, wear red tights and carry a booming great pitchfork to scare the heck out of your favorite Nemesis)

February 18: Dr. Seuss Appreciation Day (you’ll need all the help you can get just to speak in rhymes all day long)

February 19: Hopscotch Awareness Day (time to go back to recess time; hope you can hop, skip and jump or at least down a few shots of scotch or suds); if you don’t like "Hopscotch" celebrate "Temporary Insanity Day" instead!

February 20: Finger Food Appreciation Day (great news for weight-watchers, picky eaters, or those wanting to ditch dishwashing duty)

February 21: Chocolate Ice Cream for Breakfast Day (in honor of taboo treats parents tell you not to eat for the first meal of the day)

February 22: Galoshes, Gumboots & Go-Go Boots Day (time to pay homage to forgotten footwear worn by damsels-in-distress or devil-may-care types)

February 23: Divestment Awareness Day (time to indulge in nothing but Naked Truths about an entertaining Emperor without not so much as a figleaf to his name)

February 24: Fake or Flaunt It Day (the only day you get to act any way you please, provided of course you’re willing to pay the consequences of your foolish little escapades)

February 25: Pity Pot Day (time to trade in or toss your troubles away?)

February 26: Mental Floss Day (the only occasion you can tell "Knock-Knock jokes" all you want without fear of harrassment)

February 27: Break Open the Piggy-Bank Day (whoopee no time like the present to splurge on a great cause…you!)

February 28: Small Planet Appreciation Day (ever wonder what the world would be like without Venus and Mars gumming up the works?)